Sandcastle of feelings

Diving deep and fast

Tired of saving myself

Have I the right to be depressed?

Will I be deemed as dependant?

It seems I prop up a facade of strength

As the years and expectations steadily rise

Everything I purport to want seeming to be close

And yet the saboteur in me claims it’s out of reach

My audience is both specific and unknown

I communicate in methods abstract and outgrown

Changing states, even promising ones,

Can be the most devastating and leave you numb

Everything I rationally stand for

Tells me I should not entertain departure’s lane

Yet momentary ponderings on letting go

Accompany the truth that it’s not for me to say

I vent, will you not allow me that?

My heart and mind have tripped crosswire

I resent the greatness of my potential

If it existed not, it would be so much easier to ‘settle’

My best impressions don’t fool myself

My words are skewed by a lens that changes

So, is it worth sharing what may not hold true on the morrow?

A sandcastle of feelings the sea will claim was never really there